Sunday, 13 July 2014

How to survive on the dance floor




Girls tend to have a love hate relationship with the guys on a dance floor.
They love them because they make great stories to tell. And usually it's hilarious.
But they hate them because...well they are sex predators who won't take no for an answer haha.

My friends and I always like to talk about some of the guys who have made the wrong moves whilst dancing. And then those who have made the right ones ;)

For instance:

One guy was pretending it was his birthday.
He accidentally showed us his license. ba bowwwww.

One guy pretended he was an American and was putting on an accent.
He told us separately that he was from two different cities.
I saw his license too. Apparently Chatswood is now in America?

One guy told me he could give me a sweet deal on an air conditioner.
Gosh well if that doesn't turn me on what will?

One guy just pulled out money and asked if I wanted to go back to his hotel room.
Rude.

One guy kept high fiving the guys I was dancing with as a sign of respect. And then tried to grind on me and back me into a corner. And I had to add a side step to my dance moves to evade being captured.

One guy just straight out pulled my head back and poured a shot into my mouth. It was love at first sight.
haha I kid. Well kinda...

So what are my tips for surviving these nights?

1. Go with a group.
Obviously

2. Have a signal for "I need help removing this seedy man's hand from my ass"

3. As funny as it is. Don't give guys the wrong signal. Any sort of prolonged eye contact at these events = a green light in their boy brain.



4. Drink water.
Solid water.
Ok.. ice.
In your Tequila. Water is for bitches.

5. Wear flat shoes. Lets be honest. Heels look good. But you regret it 20 minutes after leaving the house. And how trashy do we look walking around carrying our heels at the end of the night haha.

6. Know if you actually have dancing skills. And act accordingly.

7. Have a slip of paper in your purse with your phone number on it. Comes in handy if you decide you want to casually slip it to one of them


JUST HAVE COMMON SENSE.

So I leave you with this video.
Which sums up my people.










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