Australian boys

The males of Australia are an odd bunch. With twenty years of experience around them, I have accumulated a list of quiet observations which I will now share with you all. Obviously, not having much experience with men in other countries, I can't be sure if these observations are males in general, or specifically Australian boys.

Sport- An easy topic to begin with. It is pretty well known that Australian's are into sport. But I don't really think everyone understands how deep this love of sport really goes...If they can't play it, they will go watch it live, if they can't do that, they will watch it on tv. If they can't watch it on tv, they will play the video game. If they don't own the video game, they will go to someone elses house to either have a group game, watch it on tv, or play the video game. It is a sickness. If you live in a country that is not obsessed with cricket. Congratulations. Let me tell you the general idea of cricket. If it is a one day match (if you are lucky), it is around 10 hours. I am not joking. You go, sit in the blistering sun, for 10 hours watching men dressed in white hit a ball with a wooden stick. woohoo.

The pub- The pub is a sacred ritual of men everywhere. Choosing the weekly pub location is critical. There must be televisions (how else will they continue to watch sport?), a pool table, no karaoke and beer on tap. Otherwise it is a no-go. Pokies are a bonus.

Talking about girls- I have heard some disgusting things in my time. I really wish I could list some of the delightful things I have heard in regard to women. But I would like to keep my blog. Basically, the fouler, the better. Now of course, there are some Australian boys who choose not to talk this way in front of girls. Or at least, have not said anything like that in front of me. But they are a rare breed.

Cars- Now I know this is world-wide. But in general, a four wheel drive ute with a good engine is the main one they tend to go for. The key is shutting out the car talk and politely nodding. Same as you have to do with sport. For the last time, I have no idea how many friggen cylinders the car is. Now stop talking.

Organising parties- Australian's are a social bunch. We organise parties for almost any occasion. Which is great. However, there are a lot of guys who tend to struggle in the reality of organising such events. There is generally no allocated time for it to begin or end, a lack of food and drinks, maybe a packet of honey soy chicken chips and one bottle of coke, for 20 people. What do we do at these parties? Play table tennis, play cricket, play footy, play video games involving cricket or footy, or, if you are really lucky, none of those, just the discussion of cricket or footy. Thrilling right?

Mr fix it- All Australian men are masters of construction. Or so they think. Any evidence of work being done on the house, backyard, car etc will automatically prompt another dry topic. "I noticed all the tools out the back, are you doing some work on the deck? What wood are you using? Are you organising it yourself or are you getting someone to come in? I'd like to do something like that at the back of my house. Shouldn't be too hard. Need a hand with yours?" I remember my grandfather going around the caravan park when he was on holiday offering assistance to everyone during the day whenever he spotted anything involving construction. Wonderful man. Typical Australian.

Clothing and cleanliness (or lack thereof)- Now this is where there is a division of the men. There are generally two categories of Australian men. Clean and unclean. Both at extreme ends of the spectrum. The clean are overpowered with deodorant and aftershave. Hair weighed down with handfuls of hair gel. Probably caring more about their appearance then the average woman. Then there are the unclean. Possibly appearing in the same pants every day of the week. No deodorant. Having to do the sniff test when picking out a shirt (if you are lucky). Bi-weekly bathing (hopefully), no toenail care and certainly no brushing of teeth. I pray one day this half of the male population grow out of the lack of routine.

Hunting/fishing- Ooga, Oogaaa, grrruuf, rawww. Yep, they revert to their cave men origins frequently. The constant killing of everything has remained part of the Australian male hobby collection. "Don't you know they are pests?", such a common question asked in regard to our country's kangaroos. Knife hunting for pigs is also a common one. Just sounds like so much fun doesn't it.

Racism- Not even gonna comment. Just google it and you will get lots of reading material on the subject.

Male conversation- Lastly. This is my favourite observation about Aussie men. Have you ever noticed, that no matter how boring the content, a guy will always stick around and talk to another guy about his job. They will sit down with a beer and subject themselves to the dry conversation on stuff they have no idea about or care about. But when it comes to sitting and listening to girls talk about something, they will have none of that. Unless they are after something.

It has been very interesting growing up in this country. And I am very interested to know how these men compare to other cultures.