I have met the male me

So I am at a point in life where I can say things like "guess what happened on my business trip".

So, "guess what happened on my business trip!"

I sat next to a guy on the plane who so reminded me of myself it wasn't funny.

Now not in a cute, qwerky way that maybe my friends and readers would expect. No. In fact, when around strangers and new people, I am completely friggen awkward. Once I know you I come into my own and start to blossom.

When I don't know you, or if I will never see you again, I am an uncool mess.

Which is part of my charm. I guess.

Anyway, so you are probably wondering what it is this person did to remind me of myself.

Well, we had just taken off and he had his headphones in. I don't know if because of that he didn't notice how loud it was, but he began to sniff really loudly.

I gave him a side glance, and I could tell he realised it was going to be an issue.

So, for about 20 minutes he proceeded to 'stare' out the window whilst his nasal secretions were flowing into his hands.

He did not have a tissue.

I considered asking him if he wanted one.

I had a whole new packet in my bag.

But then I thought that perhaps he would be embarrassed that I noticed.

So I let him continue to be utterly mortified by the situation.

Luckily for him the drinks service was soon to arrive. Luckily because his refreshment included a napkin, not because he was particularly thirsty.

What is funny is that he thought this was the time to be discrete with his bodily functions. He blew his nose oh so quietly.

Mate.

Please.

Now you now may be wondering why I felt a connection to this man.

Well it reminds me of a time (five days ago)...

I was at a concert high up in the mountains. When I got a nose bleed. Thank goodness I did have tissues. That was not the issue. But since it was blood. It was a bit more obvious.

I knew one of the musicians. Which is the whole reason I was there. And she came over to talk to my roommate and I. As my nosebleed had just finished, I had no time to check if my face was clear of any remnants.

So obviously the only plausible option for me was to just avoid any eye contact. For the whole conversation.

Even though I desperately wanted to talk and gossip. And it seemed like she too was in the same kind of mood.

After the musician had left, I turned to my roommate and was like "is there blood on my face??" and she was like "no, it's all clear". And I was like "oh good, because I JUST AVOIDED EYE CONTACT THE WHOLE TIME LIKE AN ASS HOLE"

She goes: Yehh.. I was wondering what you were doing. I was like "what is she even doing"

What have I learnt from this?

The more you try and look normal, the stupider you look.

Sorry plane man. Didn't work.

Also, I saw the message from your unhappy girlfriend who was waiting for you at the other end.

You're on your own there :)

xx Sar.