Am I hipster enough for the hipster club?

So I am trying this new things where I pretend that I am hipster as shit and go to a cafe, listen to meaningful music and drink green tea whilst writing my blog. And as I walked into the cafe I noticed that there are legitimately 6 or 7 people doing the same thing! Well not posing as fake hipsters but writing and drinking tea or coffee. Shit I am cultured.

I have a problem though, but what is the use in telling you because you can't respond and help me in time for me to not look like a fool. I got a pot of green tea and they put this strainer thing in the tea cup to catch the leaves. But...like...where do I put the strainer when I actually want to drink the tea?! #fakehipsterproblems.

Also...I am only having my meal replacement shakes throughout the day, so the smell of the food is killing me. Stop making french pastries you bastards!

But no really...where do I put the strainer?

If only they knew I was listening to Britney Spears right now. That would definitely shatter the illusion lol. And what if they knew I was writing 'lol'? I am pretty sure great literary talents like Kafka and Hemingway didn't write with text speak. But I guess I can't say for sure.

I really never understood why people went to cafes. I mean I can understand going on dates or catching up with friends over coffee. But alone?
I am really feeling the inspirational vibes now though! I'm in a bit of a green tea haze. It also helps that the hipster baristas/bartenders are all exceptionally attractive. Maybe my green tea has a bit of green in it if you know what I am saying. Now that is something I could get into. Amsterdam knows what's up.

I wonder if an oversized jumper, black skinny jeans and a beanie are part of the uniform here? Okay...that was a bitchy comment. Even if I giggled. Are hipsters allowed to giggle? Because I am screwed if they can't.

Okay now that I have explained to you all my new blogging process I better get to actual blog writing. Shh. Serious now.

xx Sar

p.s. Sweet Jesus, the God of all hipsters has just arrived at the cafe on his bicycle. How environmentally friendly of him.
p.p.s. I have spilt green tea on my notebook. Definitely a hipster now right?